Since Boak’s death I’ve been often called brave, strong, even amazing. I’m none of these.
As I sat in the peaceful front garden of the house that has been my home for the last 11 years, drinking my morning coffee and waiting for the removalists to arrive, I felt far from strong.
In fact I dissolved into a most uninspiring puddle of tears. What brought it on was the sudden blinding realisation that I was moving on, physically, to a place where Boak had never been, and I felt so alone and inadequate.
In a curious way this beautiful Victorian sandstone rectory has ‘hugged’ me as I’ve worked through my grief as best I could with the chaos going on around me this year. I’ve felt close to Boak, and in my familiar surroundings it’s been easy to feel God’s comforting arms.
The Princess and her parents lived with us here for 5 years, and it was from this house that the Princess and her mummy walked with her attendants to the church down the road where Boak married her parents, Ben and Sunny, just 4 weeks before he left us.
We erected a marquee in the garden for Lachy’s and Merry’s wedding reception 5 years earlier, and over the years we lived there this beautiful rectory, designed by Edmund Blacket and built in 1849, was the setting for engagement parties, baby showers, 21st birthdays, 60th birthday parties, countless dinners (including a Vice-regal occasion) and church family gatherings. There’s been much laughter and tears, but now it’s time to move on and allow another family to create a home within those massive sandstone walls.
Amazingly I’ve found many of those aspects of my physical environment that I loved so much in my old home (left hand photos) right here in my new neighbourhood (right hand photos).
Admittedly I have to share some of them with my neighbours, but they make me feel happy to wake up to every morning, and Chester has a spring in his step.
I know I’m not really alone, and while the sun might have set on one stage of life, now that I’ve made the move I’m enjoying the view and finally feeling positive about what the future might hold.
You have such wonderful memories to take with you.
ReplyDeleteRemember you're not walking alone. God is with you along with us all , your Christian sisters. Enjoy your new place and making new memories
ReplyDeleteI'm so pleased you had time to stay in the rectory and work through some level of grief and bed down your memories. And that you are now finding joy in your new location.
ReplyDeleteYou've been an inspiration to me from afar.
Di you write of beautiful memories and they are yours alone to keep and reflect on when needed. My son is finally seeing that memories of his late father make lovely consversations. Take care and we look forward to many more lovely Blog stories :) ,
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Di.
ReplyDeleteAs you continue your journey, Di, solo but never alone, may the love of God, family and friends support you, and find comfort inthe certain knowledge that thiis is but a temporary separation.
ReplyDeleteYou new home looks lovely, and will be all the nicer for you being in it.
JUdy
What beautiful sentiments. You know that as you set out on your journey in your lovely new home, you may be solo but never alone, supported by God's love and your wonderful family and friends. Be always buoyed by the knowledge that this separation from your dear Boak is only temporary
ReplyDeleteDi, change is never easy - especially change forced on us by circumstances, rather than by choice. I love your new place to chill!
ReplyDeleteI think that moving on to a place where Boak has never been would be a very hard thing. I honour you for your sharing your journey with us. Thank you Di
ReplyDeleteI think moving on to a place where Boak hasn't been must be very hard. I honour you for sharing your journey with us.
ReplyDeleteSending you big hugs and blessings
cathy
Hang in there Di. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best.
ReplyDeleteWhat fun to start your new adventure....I'm excited for you, Di!
ReplyDeleteHi Di. I had wondered why you hadn't been blogging and now it all makes sense. I came upon your blog by chance many months ago and admired your photos and commentary, not knowing anything until your recent posts why you had to find a new home. May your new home and neighbourhood be all you want it to be and may your memories help you on this exciting new chapter. Sharyn:)
ReplyDeleteDi, I have been thinking of you often, knowing these are especially difficult days. In this post, you've captured all that's good about where you've been, and where you are now. I know it's an emotional time, and pray that you're feeling the Holy Spirit within you, strengthening you through all of this. You've seemed like such a rock from my vantage, but I am sure that in the privacy of your quiet times, such is not the case. I continue to pray for you, my dear, counting on God's promises that He will be with you at all times. Bless your new home, bless Chester, and bless you.
ReplyDeleteDi, you and I have never met, but you are a sister in Christ. I have commented a few times. Your memories of Boak are with you, they are not dependent on a location. God is with you as has been said already.
ReplyDeleteTake time to settle in, it's been a big year for you.
I lived with my eldest son and his wife for three years and thought I was prepared for life by myself in my own place. I found the move more unsettling than anticipated. Be kind to yourself, give Chester some time too as he has moved as well away from what was familiar to him.
So happy and, at the same time, so sad yet so full of promise -- a picture of life really. I wish you well -- rest in His love.
ReplyDeleteA bittersweet time.....all those memories made in your "old" home will be meshed with the new memories to come. May God give you peace. blessings, marlene
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